Let me start with Michelle Randolph.
Congratulations on securing Cuffing Season’s #1 Draft Pick. I saw you in that TikTok two stepping with Glen Powell at Donn’s Depot.
It feels like a scene out of one of the many romantic comedies, thrillers, and action films that Powell has starred in. “Twisters” is the first one that comes to mind because who can forget the wet t-shirt moment that caused theatergoers to audibly gasp? The thirst trap — which was covered by Entertainment Weekly and Out magazine (we love a heartthrob that is LGBTQIA+ friendly) — further cemented his claim as Matthew McConaughey’s heir apparent. The irresistible charm he oozed in “Hit Man” helped, as did “Anyone But You” and its dozen shirtless scenes.
I don’t know what it is about Texas that produces the finest leading men, but I’m not mad at it. In fact, in the immortal words of Mariah Carey, all I want for Christmas is for a hot Texas movie star to fall in love with me. (My boyfriend will not mind.)
I, like many women and girls who came of age during McConaughey’s reign as the king of rom-coms, fell in love with his Texan drawl as he bewitched an assortment of Hollywood’s leading ladies, such as Kate Hudson, Jennifer Lopez, and even Jennifer Garner. Cardi B made a reference to McConaughey’s dashing looks on her verse for Megan Thee Stallion and Gloria’s “Wanna Be” remix. When the Grammy Award-winner had a chance to explain her viral lyric to him in-person on “Today with Jenna & Friends,” she blushed like a nervous school girl.
The same could be said for Jake Shane, who became an honorary Texan when he spent a college gameday at the University of Texas with Powell. According to Powell, there is nothing more romantic than college football, which explains why he’s been seen with a who’s who of beautiful women on his arm at UT games.
Maybe it’s his Texas roots, but Powell is more accessible than our other internet boyfriends. Yes, there is a place for Timothée Chalamet and Jacob Elordi in our hearts. But Powell is the boy that every mom dreams of her daughter bringing home for the holidays after her first semester at college. (Editor’s note: Our editor in chief literally got this suggestion from her mother.) This is evident by Powell’s recent “Saturday Night Live” skit, I Miss My Ex’s Dad, where two male characters sing about and lament Powell’s absence in their lives. Although the premise is fictional, the impact is felt, because I too would mourn over the departure of Powell’s fine ass from my daily affairs.
To the best of my knowledge, there is no universal name that unites Powell’s fanbase. But he is aware of our existence and has read all of our thirsty comments, including the one about him resembling a capybara. To be crystal clear, this (accurate) comparison isn’t a slight, but rather places him in the canon of hot rodent boyfriends like Jeremy Allen White and Josh O’Connor.
He’s a smokeshow in all realms of the internet. Except for People’s Sexiest Man Alive. He was allegedly in contention for the title in 2024, where John Krasinski took the top prize. And again in 2025, when Jonathan Bailey made history as the first openly gay man to receive the title. It is rumored that Powell turned down the offer, according to the Daily Mail. (We love a humble king.)
If there was an award that Powell would be a shoo-in for, it would be Texas Man of the Year at The Barbed Wire’s version of Las Culturistas Culture Awards (which does not yet exist but for which we would welcome sponsors). Las Culturistas’ award ceremony, hosted by Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang, has emerged as one of the best things in pop culture. This year’s event honored A-listers like Sarah Michelle Gellar and Allison Janney, along with the cast of “Real Housewives of Salt Lake City”and Ben Platt’s heart-crushing rendition of “Diet Pepsi” by Addison Rae. I can think of no better place for Glen Powell, a titan of hot Texan culture, to be honored among his peers. (Big Money Players Network and iHeartPodcasts, you’re welcome in advance.)
I look forward to Powell’s eventual “I don’t think so, honey,” when he appears on the awards’ namesake podcast during his next press tour.
Furthermore, Powell has a notable queer fan base. Name another Hollywood heartthrob that is regularly covered by Out magazine, Queerty, and Pride. (I’ll wait.) Blakely Thornton said it best: Glen Powell’s nipples do award-worthy work.
In case you haven’t caught on, it is the Christmas season, and I will not be shy about telling Santa what I want. Two words: Glen Powell.
No, this is not an essay or year in review round-up. It’s a plea to the big man upstairs. Not God, though if he is listening, I’d be grateful.
Now, I know what you’re going to say. “Taylor, aren’t you better than this?” The answer is no, I’m not. I was raised in a “closed mouths don’t get fed” household, with a side of “Jesus is on the mainline, tell him what you want.”
Blame the programming I received as a little Black girl in Texas from the 1990s to 2010s. Or the manifestation trend of the 2020s. Though the real culprits are Bim Adewunmi and Nichole Perkins of Thirst Aid Kit, a pop culture podcast from Slate that was the first of its kind to go in-depth about Black women’s desire in relation to their celebrity crushes. I spent many nights in graduate school and at my first job listening to them talk about Penn Badgley and Chris Evans — but also Mahershala Ali and John Boyega. They laid the foundation for Black women like myself to feel unbeholden to guilt or shame, and to feel liberated in our pleasure and longing of others.
So this request isn’t just a swing for the fences of my romantic desire: It’s political, actually.
“There is a way of looking at the world where anything a woman likes is instantly frivolous or lacking in rigor,” Adewunmi said in an interview. “I think desire is important. A lot of us use the wider culture to determine what we want for ourselves, and if we can complicate that a bit by taking a critical look at why we like what we like, that’s something we get a lot of joy and fulfillment from.”
I get fulfillment from writing about Glen Powell online.
I also get fulfillment from my boyfriend, and while I love that Yoruba man from Chicago very much, he’s got nothing to do with this.
Anyway, Glen Powell, sir: If you would like to do literally anything, hit us up. Feel free to send us an assortment of your new Smash Kitchen condiments for Christmas or invite us to a movie premiere or college gameday. We would love to double date.
May the grand tradition of Texas men as leading romantic figures never die. As the great Tim Riggins of “Friday Night Lights” once said, Texas forever.