If you’re someone who enjoys quality meats, we have a devastating story for you.
Authorities confiscated more than 700 pounds of bologna at the Texas-Mexico border on Monday, when Border Patrol agents busted a woman who apparently had an uncontrollable addiction to cold cuts.
In addition to seizing 748 pounds of Mexican bologna, authorities took 280 boxes of prescription meds and $7,600 in cash — clearly the makings of an underground deli/pharmacy combo — in Presidio, Texas, according to a release this week. U.S. Customs and Border Protection said the 43-year-old U.S. citizen declared nothing more than a “cooked meal” during the initial inspection. (That’s one big meal.)
But agents noticed something weird about her (we assume) delicious-smelling luggage. “The suitcases seemed heavier than normal. Agriculture specialists opened one suitcase and found numerous rolls of Mexican bologna inside,” CBP spokesman Roger Maier said. Eventually, agents found enough bologna to underwhelm a million lunches.
The lady got slapped with a $1,000 fine for her alleged failure to declare the world’s meatiest surprise.
To add insult to injury, CBP destroyed all 40 rolls of the taboo sausage, warning that it could bring foreign animal diseases into the U.S. Benito Reyes Jr., the port director, reminded travelers to do their homework before crossing the border, because ignorance might cost you a fine — or in this case, losing your kid’s lunch meat for the rest of time.
“The concern with pork products is that they have the potential to introduce foreign animal diseases that can have devastating effects to the U.S. economy and to our agriculture industry,” he said, sounding reasonable but ruining a really fun-sounding charcuterie situation.