You can’t win ‘em all. The GOP’s latest target in its never-ending quest to make it harder for (certain) people to vote — polling sites at the University of Texas at Arlington and other campuses — slipped through its grasp this week. Tarrant County Judge Tim O’Hare, a Republican, tried to get early voting sites removed […]
Author Archives: Brian Gaar
Brian Gaar is a senior editor for The Barbed Wire. A longtime Texas journalist, he has written for the Austin American-Statesman, the Waco Tribune-Herald, Texas Monthly, and many other publications. He was also a writer and producer at the beloved Austin production company, Rooster Teeth.
Brian grew up in Wichita Falls and graduated from The University of Texas at Austin. He's a veteran Austin comedian and released a standup album that hit #2 on the iTunes comedy charts (thanks, Jim Gaffigan). He also hosted a late-night comedy show, ATX Uncensored(ish), on Austin's NBC affiliate.
Posted inCulture
Texas Has Made the World’s Largest Charcuterie Board
We love our meats in Texas and, by golly, we’re not gonna let another state top us when it comes to piling protein, toasted carbs, and tiny little treats onto a big-ass tray. Axios Austin reports that the Central Market grocery store in Austin has set a world record for the largest charcuterie board in […]
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An $800 Million Lottery Ticket Was Sold in Texas
One lucky Texan is worth a lot of money. The Mega Millions lottery announced today that a winning ticket worth $800 million was sold at a gas station in Sugar Land. It’s the seventh highest jackpot in the game’s history; the player can take either a lump cash sum of about $404.2 million, or receive […]
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Texas Lt. Gov. Wants Those Darn Protestors to Stop Wearing Masks
Texas Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick is still thinking about those pesky protesters, and he wants their masks off. The Baltimore native has asked the state senate for a number of right-wing goodies in his list of priorities for the upcoming state legislative session, including laws aimed at stopping protesters from covering their faces, removing people […]
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A Texas Official Realizes We’re ‘Out of Water’
Apparently ignoring climate change has consequences because even Texas state officials now admit that we’re running out of water. In a true Leopards Ate My Face moment, Agriculture Commissioner (and sentient cowboy hat) Sid Miller rang a warning bell this weekend, telling WFAA: “The limiting factor is water. We’re out of water, especially in the […]
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Escaped Tiger Caught Near South Texas Border
Tony the tiger has been caught. KRGV reports the Bengal tiger that spent nearly a week on the loose and almost made it to Texas was captured at midnight on Tuesday in the rural community of Los Longoria, according to the Reynosa Emergency Management and Fire department. It was caught, uninjured, just south of Granjeno in […]
Posted inCulture
Texans Still Love to Sing Karaoke. Sorry (Not Sorry).
CJ Morgan loves karaoke. Especially when he performs “Bring Me To Life” by Evanescence. There’s only one problem: He’s not very good at singing it. (In fact, it almost led to a fight at the Austin karaoke bar The Common Interest, after some audience members thought he was making fun of the singer, Amy Lee.) […]
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Want to Own a Texas Mountain Range? Now’s Your Chance
If you’ve ever wanted to achieve the dream of owning a huge Texas ranch, now’s your chance. The massive 32,000-acre Wylie Mountains Ranch just outside Marfa can be yours for a measly $27 million, according to the Houston Chronicle. For that money, you’ll own almost the entire Wylie Mountains range, which is named after pioneer […]
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Most Texans Say Affording Food Is a Big Problem
While our state leaders are focused on being jerks to transgender Texans and passing giant giveaways to private schools, there’s a bigger issue that our politicians are blithely ignoring: a huge majority of Texans can’t afford food. According to a new poll of 1,100 people, an overwhelming 77 percent of Texans say it’s been tougher […]
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Homeless Texas Teacher Goes Viral After Starting a GoFundMe
In the dystopian hellscape that is public education funding in Texas, add “homeless teachers” to our long list of horrors that we’ve accepted for tax cuts. One such Texas teacher has attracted national attention after he resorted to crowdfunding to pay his bills. Bill Atkinson, who describes himself as a fourth-year educator in Austin, wrote […]