UPDATE, Apr. 9, 9:42 a.m.: Ken Paxton officially announced he’s running against John Cornyn.
PREVIOUS STORY: Hey Texas, if Republican-on-Republican fighting is your thing, you’re in for a real treat. Because just when you thought 2024 had the most expensive, nastiest political brawls possible, get ready to hold 2026’s Shiner.
This week, our state’s attorney general, Ken Paxton, suggested to The New York Times that he’s ready to challenge longtime Sen. John Cornyn for his seat. Yes, we may be about to witness an all-out war between the two remaining poles of the Republican party: “Trump friendly” and “MR. TRUMP, I WILL DO ANYTHING TO PROVE MY LOYALTY TO YOU, SIR.” One is a seasoned incumbent desperately trying to prove he’s still conservative enough, and the other is a scandal magnet who’s always one step ahead of a conviction.
For those of you who don’t follow Texas politics closely (probably because you have jobs and hobbies that bring you joy), here’s the short version: Cornyn is a longtime establishment Republican who’s been in office since you were playing “Snake” on your Nokia. Paxton is the insurgent from the right who laughs off ethics violations like they were parking tickets. And lately, both men have been furiously posturing as the most Trump-friendly, the most conservative, and the most capable of keeping your uncle’s Facebook rants fully stocked with talking points.
Cornyn, despite decades of cutting taxes for dudes who wear monocles, is now considered a fake Republican by some in his own party because, at some point, he committed the mortal sin of working on a bipartisan gun reform bill after 19 students were shot and killed at an elementary school in Uvalde.
And, these days, bipartisanship in Texas is rarer than affordable housing in West Austin.
Meanwhile, Paxton’s MAGA stock is high and, let’s be honest, he’s got a truly impressive ability to survive a mountain of scandals. Securities fraud charges? Investigations into corruption? An impeachment trial? Call our boy Teflon Ken, because none of it stuck.
This week, it came out that the feds decided in the final weeks of the Biden administration not to prosecute Paxton on corruption charges. The man is Houdini, if Houdini were about to win a Senate seat. (Also great job, Biden, your strategy of “not going after anyone” really paid off!)
Anyway, Paxton is back and ready to be Texas’ latest unwanted gift to the rest of the country.
Asked by the Times about how he came to his almost-decision to run for Senate, Paxton began answering, only to be reminded mid-sentence that he hadn’t technically announced yet. “Right,” he said. Always embarrassing when you almost leak the release date of your own campaign announcement!
Cornyn, for his part, has leaned hard into proving his Trump loyalty, even posting a photo of himself reading “The Art of the Deal” like a high school sophomore trying to prove to his friends he’s really into Ayn Rand.
The stakes are high, and the money spent will be obscenely large. Paxton says he needs about $20 million to take on an incumbent senator.
Hilariously, according to internal Republican polling obtained by the Times, when respondents were asked about the issues and actions they most associated with Paxton, top responses included “border security” as well as “corrupt/fraud/crook/liar.” Still, the Times reports that internal Republican polls show Paxton with a “considerable advantage among the party’s primary voters.”
So buckle up, Texas. While nothing’s official yet, this is probably going to be a 2026 primary filled with more mudslinging than your cousin on a four-wheeler on a rainy Saturday. And we’re all gonna need a bath afterwards.
