Dan Patrick should be on top of the world.
Texas’ lieutenant governor has just strong-armed lawmakers to pass his pet bill that bans THC in Texas, despite most Texans being against it.
But instead of celebrating, the 75-year-old Maryland native seems cranky. On Wednesday, he held a press conference that was straight out of a D.A.R.E. high school assembly from the ‘90s, full of dire warnings about the evils of marijuana.
Here’s some clips from his unhinged conference, where Patrick shook his cane at those darned jazz cigarettes. Flanked by cops, Patrick showed off a table full of THC products, even tossing a bag to reporters and daring them to try some.
“This is serious business!” he said to the media, who he accused of not taking the issue seriously. “This is not ‘Dan’s Folly,’ this is not ‘Dan’s Priority,’ this is to save an entire generation (from) being hooked on drugs!”
Patrick also barked at a reporter who had the temerity to ask, why don’t we focus on banning this stuff for children and let adults, you know, be free to make their own decisions?
Patrick accused the reporter of being “crazy,” saying, “We don’t want anybody buying anything off the shelf that could kill them or ruin their mental state for the rest of their lives.”
Yeah, it was weird. And it reinforces a truism about Texas Republicans: In a state where they’ve dominated for so long, they’re not great at dealing with any kind of pushback.
In a separate video in his office, Patrick held up some watermelon THC gummies and claimed that “they can be deadly for children, adults at any age.” (Which is false, even the DEA admits that no deaths from overdose of marijuana have ever been reported. And while cannabis use has been linked to some problems with cognitive functions as well as psychotic disorders for people with genetic risk factors, it pales in comparison with alcohol, which kills 178,000 people a year in the U.S.)
At his presser, Patrick also denounced products from Hometown Hero, which seems to be one of the most responsible cannabis retailers in the state. They wasted no time in responding, with CEO Lukas Gilkey saying Patrick was “spitting out lies, like he always does” and misrepresenting their products.
“This is a guy that has absolutely no clue what he is talking about,” Gilkey said. “I’m embarrassed that we voted him into office.”
It begged the question: Why is Dan Patrick freaking out about this? He won! He got his THC ban passed – in both chambers. All that needs to happen now is for Gov. Greg Abbott to sign it.
Why subject us all to more Reefer Madness theatrics?
My guess is that Patrick has been caught off-guard by the pushback he’s getting from his own party. Whenever he posts an anti-THC screed on social media, the responses from many self-identified Republicans are … not kind. (Turns out, pain relief is a bipartisan issue.)
And then there’s new Texas resident Joe Rogan, who holds the keys to the bro vote that the GOP desperately craves. Rogan, of course, is famously pro-THC and if you went to his studio right now in Austin you’d probably get an impressive contact high.
Rogan hasn’t weighed in on this ban, but you’ve got to assume that he’s also not thrilled about it.
Oh and, not for nothing, but our lawmakers just paraded noted sobriety advocates Matthew McConaughey and Woody Harrelson around the Capitol for that Hollywood giveaway bill. Now Patrick’s gonna take away their THC?
So in the end, while Patrick has virtually complete control over his fellow senior citizens in the Texas Senate, he’s clearly out of step with lots of Republican voters (they, along with most Texans, want marijuana decriminalized). And Patrick, whose main professional credential is being a radio host, surely knows that politicians who get crosswise with the voting public don’t keep their jobs.
And it’s making him mad. And that crankiness bubbled over during his press conference on Wednesday.
“I don’t think the media has taken this issue seriously,” he groused.
We know, grandpa. Weed is the devil’s lettuce. Let’s get you to bed, where you can dream about your favorite thing: drive-through booze.