Well, it turns out that even the great Brandon Aubrey couldn’t kick his way out of a slightly cringe-y weekend for Texas football.
Welcome back to The Barbed Wire does football, in which our team of completely unqualified-to-write-about sports writers recap the highlights (and lowlights, and baby lights) of Texas teams.
After the thrill of last weekend, this weekend left us feeling whelmed. However, we did learn that the Cowboys will need more than a beatified Aubrey to get to the Super Bowl, Texas Tech is standing on business, and Arch Manning has big feelings, too.
Let’s get into it.
We See You Texas Tech
Well, well, well, if it isn’t money buying results. Kidding. But Texas Tech did prove everyone at College Game Day wrong by stomping Utah on Saturday.
Backup quarterback Will Hammond threw for 169 yards (which we’re told is impressive) and two touchdowns after Behren Morton was injured. The Red Raiders won 34-10 and took the No. 12 position in the Associated Press Top 25 college football poll.
The Red Raiders also silenced some haters who’ve side-eyed the team for using NIL opportunities and the transfer portal to buy a better chance at Big 12 dominance (they’ve never won a title in the conference, so we hear).
But as the poet laureates of our time have said, don’t hate the player, hate the game.
“There’s a lot of things said about our team and a lot of things written about the cost of the roster and this and that. I would challenge anybody to have a closer locker room, guys that care more about wearing the Double-T than care about themselves, and that shows up in tight games,” coach Joey McGuire said after the game, according to the Associated Press.
Translation? A winning team is great for camaraderie, no matter how you get there.
A Touching Camp Mystic Tribute
TCU and SMU honored 9-year-old Lila Bonner, who died in the July 4 floods at Camp Mystic, at the start of their rivalry game Saturday. The Dallas Morning News reported that the Bonner family took the field ahead of the opening kickoff. One of Lila’s sisters, wore a TCU jersey with Lila’s name and the No. 9, the paper reported.
The Bonner house is divided — dad is a TCU alum; mom an alum of SMU — and according to the schools’ social media accounts, Lila rooted for both teams.
What may be the final Battle for the Iron Skillet battle resulted in a win for TCU. The Horned Frogs rallied at the end of the fourth quarter to overtake a brief lead held by the Ponies, er, we mean Mustangs.
That’s right: SMU leadership decided the ‘Pony Up’ marketing slogan that became a beloved catch phrase has ‘died a natural death,’ angering fans who actually prefer brand synergies with Ginuwine.
Insult to CeeDee Lamb’s Injury in the NFL
The Dallas Cowboys had an embarrassing 14-31 loss to the Chicago Bears. Adding insult to literal injury, wide receiver CeeDee Lamb rolled an ankle and hobbled off the field in the first quarter. His attempt to return in the second quarter did not go well and he left the game early — which is really not great since the Cowboys are set to play against the Green Bay Packers and former Cowboy’s beloved linebacker Micah Parsons.
For the unfamiliar, Parson’s was shipped to Green Bay less than two weeks before the start of the regular season and not because he wanted to, he wanted to stay in Dallas. Parson’s asked daddy Warbucks, err Jones, for a hefty payday like Dak and Ceedee, but it appears negotiations got messy and in the end, Jerry didn’t want to pay up. (Although some say it’s just Jerry being Petty Jerry.)
As we count down the days to Sunday night’s game in Dallas against the Packers, it remains to be seen if Jones was right about the trade which he said, “was a move to get us successful in the playoffs,” and “to be better on defense, stopping the run.” Which, if we look at what happened in Chicago Sunday, well, you can be the judge, but Sports Illustrated already says the Cowboys are the underdogs going in.
What the WAGs Wore:
The Cowboys vs. Bears game did give us one treat.
Here at The Barbed Wire, we’re as concerned with fashion plays as play calls. Call it the Swift effect, but wives and girlfriends are under as much pressure for their fits as a QB on his back foot in the pocket. And we appreciate the hustle.
Biles showed us on her Insta story that her bedazzled accessories have range. On Sunday, she paired a pleated denim mini with matching button down and cream leather boots with golden Owens down the side.
Maybe more impressive is how she’s made the most of stadiums’ clear bag policies — covering a vinyl tophandle with a golden Biles, Olympic rings, and a silver goat. The GOAT indeed.
Meanwhile, the Cavinder twins (Haley, fiancee to Cowboys tight end Jake Ferguson, and Hanna, who dated Miami Hurricanes quarterback Carson Beck) took an enviable looking boat ride in Chicago.
Haley, apparent Abercrombie & Fitch promo partner at least that’s what we think she said, we must be missing something with this pronunciation), wore a custom hockey jersey with Ferguson’s number on the back.
You know what else impresses us? Subtlety.
Loreal Sarkisian, wife of Longhorn’s coach Steve Sarkisian, did UT pride without word art. Her head-to-toe Chloe bubble-hem look did the communicating for her, as did her Chanel bag that’s just close enough to burnt orange.
